What does a cow do at McDonald's? He is eaten by obese people.

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Pain is temporary. However, the scars from 3rd degree burns are forever.

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how many mexicas does it take to.... on wait there done

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People say that shit don't stink But shit does stink It stinks like shit!

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what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jane from next door. Hi Jane how can I help you? Just wondering if my sister could use the spare spot on your drive tomorrow afternoon around 3pm? She is coming round for tea. I'm very sorry but my wife is due back around that time. Not a problem, thanks anyway. Have a great day. Bye Jane, see you soon, sorry again.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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Your mom

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why did the chinken cross the rode? why? to get to the gay persons house. Knock, Knock. Who's there. the chicken.

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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What happens when you yank on someones nuts? They cry

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Without geometry life would be pointless

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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Do you know what has always angered me about people not choosing to control their own lives Nero?

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

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What's a group of people that has an N, an I, two Gs, an E and an R that have no souls? Gingers.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the bat mobile? Don't touch my penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops