Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

Why do girls like Justin Beiber? They dont

A blind man walks into a bar... And a table. And a chair.

Me: Hey frank, wanna die? Frank: No, why? Me: (Kills Frank) Frank: Dude why did you kill Frank?

A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

What do u call a cripple Biv

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

a man was hired for a job. he made a lot of money and was able to support his family.

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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