A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

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No, we are all different, none of us are the same, you however, have no match, your ability to think influence and inspire even today, is unmatched. It is he who is unmatched, who stands alone.

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What happens when you cross a vampire and a werewolf? A cross between a vampire and a werewolf.

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels excluded by mainstream clothing outlets.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

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Jack and jill went up a hill to get some water. Jack fell down, twisted his ankle, and continued to roll. He broke his spine and collar bone and he was later taken to the hospital. Later that night he died because the doctors couldn't do anything. Jill then killed herself in mourning.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

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Womens rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue and oranges are orange nothing rhymes with orange

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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