How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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Why couldn't the cat drink the milk? Because it had no face.

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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Q-how did the blind man cross the road? A-with a guide dog

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What did one cat say to another? Cats cant talk

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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why did the man hit the flight attendant? Im just kidding he didnt.

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Where's my tractor?

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Why did the black man crash his car? His low-income job forced him to buy a toyota.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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