what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Three men walked into a bar. None were injured because they were all wearing hard hats as is the procedure for a construction site.

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Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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What did the raisin say to the toaster? Nothing. The raisin lacks a central nervous system, and the toaster is an inanimate object.

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A black man walks into a bar in Alabama, he then proceeds to have a couple of drinks and leaves.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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What sport was the man with one leg excelling in? Ass kicking.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How did my grandparents survive the Holocaust? Well for starters, it helps that they weren't Jewish, they didn't live in Europe, and quite frankly, they probably would have supported Hitler because they were right wing pricks.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

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what do you order when it's a sunday in nyc during a solar eclipse on a leap year past 12:00 pm? what ever you like

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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