What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A man with no arms and no legs

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Paul Walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: No

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How do Asians name their children? They throw them down the stairs and see what sound they make.

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Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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A bar walks into a man

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

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Q: What is the difference between Jimmy and a kite A: Jimmy is higher MR

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -George. -George Who? -George Carpenter, Remember? We were in the same class in third grade. -Come on in!

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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