two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

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When life gives you ponies... get a new life!

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What's worse than a murderer? Two murderers.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was dead Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? -Because it was stapled to the first koala

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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are you saying pam, or pan?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops