What is old and fancy and comes in two pieces? Marie Antoinette.

What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

What is the difference between a person of Mexican heritage and a park bench? One is a bench, the other is a human being.

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

If somebody chucks skittles at you saying taste the frickin rainbow Run over them with a car and say "NationWide is on your side!!! ????

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

Female Orgasms

Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

Sam Hengal.

A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

A clown walking down the steet, trips -Ryan Vallee

What did the dog say to the house? Roof

Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

Dear Rubix Cube, DONE!! Sincerely, Colorblind

who likes gay porn and has dirty littlesweeneys thathesticks up his hole? Jahn Willems

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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