What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

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What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

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cool

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your parents are dead, and so will you.

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Q- Where did Sally go during the explosion? A- Everywhere!

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Why Stevie is silent nowdays? Because he's dead.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? If you're lucky some of his or hair will have fallen out and be left on the keyboard as evidence.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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A horse walks into a bar. He was blind.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Did you hear about the fire in the shoe factory? All the inventory was destroyed.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

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What did the black boy find on his doorstep A package from his grandparents in Australia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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