How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

why did the dad stop working on the roof he fell off

What do you get when you mix a ginger with gasoline? a forest fire.

Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

Kyle grund parker coffey

y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

yeyeyeyeye live action

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

what did the man say to his boss? Hello boss

Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

Q-whats worse than getting shot. A-getting shot twice

whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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