ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what's red and horny a red unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar. Of chocolate. Yummy!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do trees like to drink? r o o t b e a r

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops