Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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Whats green, and says i'm a frog? A talking frog.

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What's worse than breaking your arm? Blonde Girls

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

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Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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Person 1: today my doctor said I'm dyslexic Person 2: oh yeah? Are you ahdd too?

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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