Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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There is no joke here, stop reading.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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