What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

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What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

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What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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