Q: How do you fit two beluga whales into a mini van? A: You don't.

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bike? A: Someone threw a refridgerator at his head.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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What's big and hairy my penis just kidding It's Bigfoot

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Friends are a lot like trees... ...they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Poop!!

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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The other day, a buddy of mine gave me some of his sandwich. "My wife made it," he said. "It's really good," I answered. We chewed in silence after that.

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Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

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Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

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What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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