What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

Obamacare

why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

Nickelback

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

Nice belt.

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

Turnabout: American study of the Japanese Stereotype man: Murican: Excuse me Mr Japanese. Jap: The answer is within the heart of battle.. Murican: Yes but I just want to ask you some few questions. Jap: You are disturbing my feng shui I must power of the mystical fireball of surge fist energy get... *uppercuts waterfall BECAUSE REASONS!* Murican: What? But this is a serious study! Jap: Sowwy I do nothe speeky the shamefull language of the engrish! Murican: But you just said... Sigh... Conclusion: Carpet bombing of Japan funding increased. "slap a Jap" commercial project from world war two reinstated for the safety of the American people. Experiment two: The study of a American man raised in Japan. Murican: Hello I wonder if... American raised in japan: GADOUKEN GADOUKEN GADOUKEN! ORA ORA! Murican: Dead/KO. American/Japan: FRAWRESS VICTOLY! Result: World war 3 GET!

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

A black man walks Into a bar.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...