What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

............................................................................................................ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .thumbs up!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Once upon a time, people died. It was happening all over the land. They didn't LIVE happily ever after... since they died. The end... for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple whilst you're in a bar after finding out you have cancer when you visited your families grave? Having a refrigerator thrown at you by an aids infected monkey with no arms or legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was the prostitute's favorite number? 68

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Little Timmy say when his house fell down? I'm not sure but that sounds like a very sad seen that I hope to never encounter in my personal experiences.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

America's Got Talent WIN! Britian's Got Talent WIN! Mexico's Got Talent WTF!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops