I saw 2 cannibals eating a clown. What did I do? Called the local police.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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test

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A baby seal walks into a club. He is immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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cliché rebecca black joke.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what do you throw at a mexican man when he is drowning? his family.

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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What do you call a sheep? something to have sex with.

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A man removed Stephen Hawkings hand off his keyboard, what did Stephen say to the man? Nothing his hand isnt on the keyboard.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

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Q :Whats the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of dead babies? A: I don't have a truck of bowling balls.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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No this is Patrick, I'm not a krusty krab

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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