How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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tennis grunts . . . no different from sex noises

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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speak now or forever hold your pee

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why was the black man forced off of the roller coaster He had heart disease

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

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A man walks into a bar

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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What did one hostage say to the other hostage? Hrmfhrmfphmfr

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Massie is a fatass

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What do you call a barn full of black people? antique farm equipment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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