Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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my gramma died

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Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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What Is big, round, and looks like gaben. Gaben!

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I spilled spot remover on my dog, now hes gone.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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Why did the Indian homosexual shoot his dog? Because it was old

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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HURT

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new car? ....neither did he.

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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