How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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bronson watt walks into a bar.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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It says so on your cap.

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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The Game.

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What's the difference between a model and a baby? I didn't have sex with a model last night.

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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69

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun, Get in the van.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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People Order Our Patties

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Oama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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why did the Asian by a dog because he was lonely

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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What's black and white and red all over? The dead kitten on the road.

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knock knock?? whos there?? Not yo cheese because i already ate it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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