How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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How come the blind black guy couldent read because he is dead

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Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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The WNBA

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You wanna see my secret freckle? NO! How about my butt? What!!!!!!!

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

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Who gave Miley Cyrus her new haircut? Hellen Keller

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I AM SATAN, YOU SHALL LOVE ME BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE! YOU SHALL STONE THY INSOLENT CHILDREN! THY SHALL R*PE AND KILL IN MY NAME! YOU SHALL HANG MY SON ON THE CROSS WHICH I SACRIFICED BECAUSE HE IS IMMORTAL/BECAUSE I LOVE YOU? "Moral" "Man": Joke is on you, who do you think I am, God?

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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