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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. wait wut are u a bitch Violet are not freakin blue its Purple

The big male boar went out the forest, saw a group of women and start to swank.

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

My parents have an open marriage.

Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

What's red and has wheels? A red car

Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

Q. What did one wall say to the other wall? A. Peekaboo I see you.

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

This is my favorite antijoke.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

Tim and Eric

Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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