A human walked into a bar, The bartender quacked, "quack quack quack" The human wondered why all the patrons and the bartender were ducks, so he left the bar, before his head spontaneously exploded.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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I am iron man 24 flavors in my van i am the icecream man i have met jackie chan

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Getting shot.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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whats worse than a dead baby two dead babies what could be worse than that? constapation

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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what is red, black, and blue all over? A horribly painted room.

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Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

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Dumb

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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What do u call a banana? A banana......

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why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why was the little girl happy? because she found an icecream cone

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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You're mother has had a heart attack in the middle of the street, you start to sing amazing grace hoping people will join in, but unfortunatly this is not a musical and you should call 911.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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