What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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What is a man? A misserable little pile of shi... Moral: What is a man?

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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are you gay does your mom know

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Nature is filled with wondrous things. No really, this isn't a joke.

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why did the baby cross the road? A very uncaring parent left their infant outside. The unsupervised baby then crawled under the fence and began to head towards the road. When the baby began to cross the road, there were two cars coming from both directions. Luckily, they saw the baby and came to an abrupt stop. Unfortunately, when the baby made it to the other side, an eagle swooped down and snatched the baby, because it is a bird of prey. Fortunately, the child's life was spared by the eagle. The Department of Child Services showed up later only to confiscate the baby from the parents. The eagle wanted to adopt it, but it could not speak nor could it sign the legal documents because it was an eagle.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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Your sister's feet smell so bad people encourage her to go home and wash them.

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1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Well you can't drive planes

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What did America get on the 11th September? 9/11

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

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What's the worse part about a Jewish man dying in a house fire? It was his birthday

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops