A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

Roses are red Violets are blue I want to have sex But no one else wants to

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

why was the little girl crying in her dads arms? Because he was strangling her

Q)what do you call a homless a man ?? A) dunno ask him what his name it (LOL RANDOMZZZ)

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Whats white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

What did the teacher do? He taught.

why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

A woman walks into a bar.

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

What's white and sticky? A white stick.

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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