What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does tupperware and a walrus have in common? they both like a tight seal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Safe sex MR

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Tough crowd tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on the trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you boil oil? add b to oil

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops