Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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why shouldn't you get a clown angry? Because they'll yell at you.

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What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he had an undescended testicle

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What would a prostitute do if she was given a million dollars? She would probably diversify her portfolio. First, she would pay her rent. She would buy some groceries and a present for her mother. She would then invest it in stocks and low-yield bonds. She would they buy a vehicle. This win might not affect her continuance in her job.

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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An Asian man fails a math test

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gay people

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Whats a hobbo's favorite food? Trash

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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A girl walks into a strip club, she was tired of her husband and wanted to see how it was actually done.

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a white kid is called on by his teacher he is promptly sent to the principle's office after not complying.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops