How did the baby cross the road? .......... It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken kill himself To get to the other side.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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I take the "the" out of Psychotherapist

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I'm Batman.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings What is worse than 2 bee stings? The Holocaust What is worse than the Holocaust? 3 bee stings

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An Asian man and an Irish man are standing at the bus stop, chatting casually, while waiting for the bus to arrive. The Irish man then turns to the Asian and says, "Despite our blatant differences in both race and culture, perhaps someday when we are both available, we can meet and talk civilly about our everyday lives over a cup of coffee."

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A intro of darkness, then redness then whiteness

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did Gary's cat fall from the tree? He didn't use enough gaffa tape.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Weed.

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

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Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: Art.

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why did michael jackson write black or white he didnt want black people to copy him

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops