Your grandma's cookies.

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A man makes a sandwich.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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Beans, beans good for the heart, the more you eat the more likely you are to grow into a healthy young man/woman with low risk of heart disease.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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Why is paper white? Cause that's how they make paper.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did one Stoner say to the other? "I'm hungry, let's order pizza."

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Yo' Momma is so fat she weighs a lot!

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whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops