How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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Hillary Clinton

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Corn Muffins

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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What is funny and has three legs? Not the Holocaust.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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Why couldn't little Timmy turn in his homework? Because on the way to school little Timmy was hit by a bus

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

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Cripples are lame.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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where did susan go durring the explotion? every where...

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops