What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did meredith and nick have in common an i

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are blue Charcoal is black and so is my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worst than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. Whats worst than a pile of dead babies? One live baby under the pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why are Americans so fat? Poor diet and lack of exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down +4

tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so fat, she got obese and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? The Hollocaust. What's worse than the Hollocaust? 3 bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Howdid we get copper piping we put a Pennie between two Jules

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops