Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Some jokes rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Moooo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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3 bears walk into a market. A little girl sneaks into their house. Meanwhile, people are freaking out because there are THREE BEARS in the market.

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roses are red, violets are blue.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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an emo kid walks into mcdonalds and orders a happy meal

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

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What does the name Joe mean? Joe Mama! Egit

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Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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What do you call a lump on your penis? STD

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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