Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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What happens every 5 seconds? An African kid dies.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Ebola How about you?

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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whats worse than being cold? having a pine cone shoved up your ass.

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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Creepy Man: Let's play the rape game Young Girl: No!!!! Creepy Man: That's the spirit

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whats the dif...mexicans are gay

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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What's better than winning $5000 a week for life?! Winning any larger sum of money a week for life, and sex.

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If life gives you lemons, squeeze it in life' s eyes.

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A black guy and his black girlfriend are in a car. Who's driving? Their driver. The black guy has a very prosperous career and their life is at the envy of many.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Your chicken just went across the road. What does this tell you about the economy?

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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i had sex i stuck my dick into your mouth

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops