whos gay rusty kohlen hit him up on facebook!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What do you call a boy with no arms? Names.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

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Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

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A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

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A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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A slutty deer walks into a bar she then comes out and says wow i cant believe i blew 30 bucks

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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a mexican guy and a black guy are in a car, who is driving? the mexican, the black guy is in the passenger seat

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? You did?! Oh . . .

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Q: what is green and looks like grass. A: fake grass

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what do you call a mentally and physically obese man? nothing until you know or obtain his name

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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A blind man asked me out last night. I told him I was seeing someone...

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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