What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

Nock Nock It's open.

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you f***ing racist.

Did you hear about the dyslexic eye chart maker? His disability caused to him to have a difficult time at work and his production suffered because of this.

u jelly?

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

How do you stop a bus? Press the brakes

girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

Billy Corgan: The world is a vampire! Me: No it's not. The world is a mass of mineral compounds that floats in space approximately 93,020,000 miles from the sun. It is not, in fact, a vampire.

A man walks in a barn. He lifts his bucket of food and starts feeding his horses.

Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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