- Anti Joke

If John has 50 candybars and eats 45 of them how many does he have left? Diabetes.

Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

ask me if im a house are you a house? no

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

Why couldent the boy pick up the bunny? He had severe muscular distrophy, and couldent even lift a spoon to his mouth. let alone a bunny

Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

How did the blind man watch T.V? With the captions on.

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

Bum: Excuse me, can you spare some change? Rich man: No

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

What's the difference between a cow and a fat person. Nothing

i saw your mom, i said hi

Mrs. Welsh

A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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