What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

Why did the Jewish man dive into the street to pick up a penny? He was Tevye, a character from the famous play Fiddler on the Roof and pennies are valuable and rare in Tsarist Russia in 1905.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Kill her entire family.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

Bailey you suck at writing anti jokes quit!!!!!!!!!!! :( :( :( :( :(

so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

whats dead and gone your nanas cat

Salad. It's green and so is The Hulk.

No.

What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

what do u call a gay dinosaur megasoreass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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