"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

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3 women are eating popsicles, one is biting, one is licking, and one is sucking, which is married? The one with the wedding ring.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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A guy trips a blind man.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely to get to a source of food or escape a predator.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops