What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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whats long and hard on a black man? his femur.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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Cat got your tongue? Punch it in the face, and retrieve your tongue.

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What is quite heavy and if it falls off a tree and hits you in your head you die? A sheets packet

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What did Jim say to Bob? Hi Bob.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get in the car.

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Woman's Rights

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their firstborn child.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jimmy Tyler, your son Hi son *continues to open door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops