What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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Why did the world not end in 2012? Because the Mayans were drunks.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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A woman was at a family reunion and her husband's mother walked in. She has a chocolate allergy so the woman says the her husband,"I need more chocolate!"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fish, just because it has a disability it doesn't mean you can treat it any differently

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This is an anti joke. Please make it the bestest and most well likeded one on this site.

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What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

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What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

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I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out because it is a bar for cats only.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

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How did the old man keep the kids off his lawn? By molesting their Moms.

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What do you call a room full of lawyers? A group of legally educated professionals.

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Why does Ron Weasley have friends? He does't. He's a ginger.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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