How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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Rudolf the rednosed reindeer died today. He was reported flying over Madrid when he was hit by a jumbo jet and a flock of seagulls. People are now saying that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

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why is a squirrel called a squirrel? that's its name.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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"Hey Jeff, how are you?" "Yes."

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What's red, white, and black all over? A panda shot and killed by a poacher.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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Two men walk into a bar... ..I didn't say what type of bar...

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Q: What did Stevie Wonder eat for dinner last night? A: Something consumable

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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What did the blind lawyer say to the doctor? We're both lawyers!

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whats big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? a pool table

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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knock knock come in

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keep your eye off me if you dont look at me, how do you know i looked at you? there is a mirror

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Q: How many 3 go into the number 102,351? A: Yes.

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Leave her alone...

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple the earth exploding

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Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

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what's the hardest part about microwaving a baby? holding the camera and masturbating

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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