What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... Every morning, and stays until it closes... [credit gilbert gottfried]

Michal j. fox has Parkinsons disease. He is tired of losing at jenga

A blonde and a brunette are out for drinks. The brunette goes home early as she has to be up the next day.

What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

Did you hear about the guy who came home one night and found his wife in bed with his best friend? He had just returned from a trip to the grocery store, where he'd purchased bread, milk, eggs, broccoli, yams, tea, and brownie mix.

How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

larry clark i smoke pot and im gay its phillup

Why Did the Drug dealer die He Got Hit by a buss

So what do you guys wanna do?? Anything, I still have cancer..

A man walks into a bar and gets drunk. He then goes home and proceeds beating his many wives in a drunken fit of rage.

What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

NOTICE: If you have noticed this notice then you will have noticed this notice is not worth being noticed

kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

GONNA

Why couldn't little Sarah smell the roses? Her face was mauled by a grizzly bear

My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the results of his AIDS test

What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

a man walked into a bar.... when i say bar i mean a metal pole, the man suffered from concussion

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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