What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

After filling her car up with gas, a woman leaves the gas station with the pump still attached to her car. Why did this happen, you ask? It was a silly mistake anyone could have made.

why is red the first color in the rainbow? I don't know go ask a scientist.

alert('hiiii');

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

A socialist, a Muslim, and an illegal immigrant walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for you Mr.President

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

What did the dead person say? Nothing, dead people cant talk, coz they are dead

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

What did the dad do immediately do after his child died? Cleaned off the knife.

Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

Recent US presidents (and their accompanying economy)

Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

Whats the difference between a bad skydiver and a bad golfer? The bad golfer looses the game, drives home, and falls asleep. The bad skydiver dies in a terrible accident.

What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

When's the right time to join reality? Right now! Get off your computer!

If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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