what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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you know what hurts.... PAIN

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A man walks into a bar. I don't know what happened next because I was waiting outside for my friend.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Nah

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Yo momma's so fat and thank god because I'm a chubby chaser.

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van!

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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I have no ideas.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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A Mexican, A Jew and a Irishman walk into a grocery store...The Mexican buys some bread, the Jew buys some bread... and the Irishman buys some bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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