A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Q:whats yellow and flys through walls A:A magical Banana

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25

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Q: What did the hobo get for his birthday? A: Older.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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Why dose not the cat bark? Because it's a cat!

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How many rats live in a llamas stomach? the cats pajamas

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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