I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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Knock, knock. Come in!

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Q: why did the little girl cry on Christmas? A: because she got a dead cat.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What's worse than a dead man?  2 dead men

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I was on Skype with a girl yesterday and she asked "Do you want to see something?" "No," I said "my mom's in the room and she might get a bad interpretation." "I really want you to see this." She said. " No, my mom's still in the room, she'll think I'm weird if you turn out the lights." "Darn I really wanted to see your glow in the dark snuggie."

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Q: How do you fit 20 babies into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

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Q: What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A: "E"

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Why did the girl hang up on her boyfriend? Because the roof collapsed on her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A blonde, the pope, and a young kid are in a crashing airplane and there's only one parachute. But by the time any of them equips it, the plane hits the ground and they all die.

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What's hard and straight going in, and soft and sticky coming out? chewing gum

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There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

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What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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An Oldish (probably 27) man walks into a chuck-e cheese, He then puts on his coustume.

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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A chinese man, a white man, and a black man are all driving on the freeway. They see each other and wave as they all know each other, and then they focus on the road and drive carefully.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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