Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Goon Bear+Homo= Corey Jacobs True Story

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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your mom is so poor that she is unable to pay for your child care leaving you to have a terrible childhood, troubled adolescence, and eventually lie passed out in an alley after OD'ing off of heroin.

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why was the horse sad his wife had terminal cancer

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

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wHY DID WILLIAM CHEUNG LICK THE BERILLIAM FUNG, BECause it was fun!

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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what do you call a diver with no arms and no legs? a bobber

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, but doesn't look like a duck? A horse named Quackie

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Why was the black man hanged? He was charged with piracy in the 1500s..

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

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That long? I was thinking more like two hours? An hour?

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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