Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Boy:U a dime Girl: she said ur a quarter Boy:-_- dumb B***h

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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How do you make a tissue dance? You give it dance lessons.

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So there is a muslum, then he flew a plane into a building and died a sudden death. But he was wearing a helmet.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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What does 10 dead babies in a microwave look like? I dont know. I was too busy masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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