THIS ONE TIME MY DOG ATE A WHOLE CHEESECAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch pórn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops