a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +20

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops